Weigh in

So, today, like every Friday, I had my weigh-in. Unfortunately, I didn't lose any weight. I guess the upside is that I didn't gain any either though? haha. Either way, it wasn't what I was looking for. I guess that's the price I pay for upping my calories from 1250 to 1550 to more coordinate with my BMR and TDEE (a little lower than what it actually is, but apparently it's okay to eat 200-300 below for a little while). I feel better and according to MFP I'm still on track to lose weight accordingly, but I do expect to be at bit of a standstill until my metabolism resets itself. I just wish it didn't have to happen. haha!

Anyway, I figure it's no good to sit and worry about something that I can't really change immediately, so today I continued to log my calories and exercise (I burned an impressive 620 calories at the Y today!) and made an attempt to pamper myself. I've already done my toes and I'm going to work on my fingernails next, oh and even fixing my seemingly unruly eyebrows. (Sorry to any guys reading this, it's probably kind of boring for you.)
It's not much, but it's something and it's making myself feel better. Oh, and I totally love Country music (don't hate!) so I've been listening to my Country Love Songs station on Pandora while doing all of this tonight, even right now! It's definitely a good way to occupy my time while my boyfriend Matt is out with friends tonight.

Oh and another mini-accomplishment: I registered for the Color Me Rad 5K tonight! I'm going to do it with some great people I've met on MFP in Jacksonville and that makes me even more pumped! Not to mention, it is my first 5K, ever. I'm so excited to have the experience under my (hopefully looser) belt, as well as make some great memories with some great people and get a really cool looking shirt out of it!

I can't help but be worried..

I've been "this big girl" ever since I can remember really. Not THAT big, I've pretty much always been probably 60 pounds over weight my whole life (Imagine being the 5th grader forced to shop in the adult sizes because that's what fits and seeing a teacher wearing the same thing. :/ ) but I can't help but be worried that after I lose the weight I want to that my skin won't "bounce back" from the excess weight it's been holding in for all these years.
Don't get me wrong, I'll be psyched to lose the weight regardless, but I want to feel SEXY in a bikini, not just as self-conscious for a different reason.
I wish someone had the answers I'm looking for, but everyone's different and I'll have to find out from experience and actually doing it. My hope is that because I'm still young, my skin is resilient enough to adjust to my new weight, as well as the fact that I'm doing it within reason (time-wise).

Goals

I figure I should lay out what I actually want to get out of this journey so here's my goals, and the rewards for meeting them.
(If anyone has any suggestions for personal rewards, let me know in a comment!)

SW: 192 lbs

Goal weight for the end of May: 177 lbs
Reward: Getting my free panties from VS! <3

Goal weight for the end of summer (mid-August): 160 lbs
Reward for reaching goal weight: I will get the second hole done in my ears.

Goal weight by Christmas: 145 lbs
Reward for reaching goal weight: I will get my tragus pierced.

Ultimate goal weight (by my birthday in April): 130 lbs
Reward for reaching goal weight: First ever mani-pedi combo

A lull in motivation?

I was totally stoked when I first started to do this and today I, to put it plainly, wasn't stoked. I don't know what it is or why, but all I wanted to do was sit around, watch TV and snack on all the junk food my family comes home with.
I didn't want to wake up earlier than necessary.
I didn't want to put gym clothes on.
I didn't want to log my food.
Today was a total "blah" day if I've ever had one.

I guess I'm in a rut because I'm not SEEING any real difference as to what I'm doing. Yeah, when I weigh in, I see a slightly lower number on the scale, but I want at least ONE NSV (Non Scale Victory). I know that's a bit antsy of myself, considering I've only been working on this for a little over two weeks, but I can't help it! Another reason might be that I've been eating sort of the same foods for the past 2 weeks and that gets to be a bit monotonous if I do say so myself. However, I don't have much of a budget to buy anything outside of what my family wants to eat and my rather large family, although desiring to lose weight, refuses to stop eating anything and everything that is bad to eat (ice cream sandwiches, pizza, pop tarts, gummies, ect.) I'm at least keeping the willpower to not eat their food though, right? Now, if only there were a way to log exercise as "Keeping willpower to not snack on delicious looking/bad for my health foods"...

I'm hanging out with friends that I haven't really seen since I started working out and eating better this coming weekend and I'd loveee for someone to ask if I've lost any weight. I know it probably won't happen, but still. A girl can hope, right? Wearing the same clothes probably doesn't help my case with whether people notice my weightloss or not, but if they still fit-ish, then I'm going to keep wearing them since I'm A) too broke/cheap to buy new clothes all the time and B) I've got lots more weight to lose so might as well "go big or go home" when it comes to my new clothes purchases.

I guess that's it with today's troubles. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Oh hey

So.
Here's what's up.

My name's Zoe and I've recently decided that enough's enough. "Recently" being exactly 2 weeks ago (May 6th, 2012), and "enough" being my weight.
Throughout the past I've always said that I wouldn't let myself go over 180lbs. Then I entered my first year at the University of Florida and, of course, gained the "Freshman 15" although most of that happened during finals week right before I went home.
I weighed myself and saw 192 staring back at me and right then I knew this had to end. It was a Sunday night, so the next morning I joined MyFitnessPal and even downloaded the MFP app for my phone and joined my local YMCA. (Everything about MFP is free, but the gym membership is $24/month and if I'm paying for something, I'm getting my money's worth!)

Here goes!